Saat Phere... Bullshit?
Sometimes, i think of the meaning of marriage, relationship, commitment, love, etc and some of the thoughts that surround my mind. People always tell me that they would prefer to love or engage in any sort of relationship, only after marriage. That makes me think, what is so powerful in a marriage that binds people? What is in those 'saat phere' which gives men and women the legal right to love and engage in relationship. Come to think of it, it is only a fire around which both of you revolve for seven times. Other than satisfying the traditions, does it hold any true value? People get married even in courts just by a mere signature.. So what makes 'saat phere' so special.
I know that my readers will have varied answers here, but my opinion is that those 'saat phere' actually holds very little meaning. Please don't jump to any conclusions before reading ahead....
True marriage or for that matter true love comes from the heart, which no fire can create. I've seen so many couples, who can be assumed to be married because their love was so strong and pure that it didn't need anyone's attestation. On the other hand, people who got married either through love marriages or arranged marriages, got divorced later, because their hearts never were one. Hence, I really find it hard to believe that saat phere is essential. Maybe, to satiate the traditions, to satisfy the laws of the country, you might need to do this formality, but i view it just as a formality.
When your hearts are so pure and strong, and offcourse one! you don't require any authentication from anyone to say that you are married. Marriage is nothing but a union of hearts and souls and that comes when you feel that you're one. Maybe the physical nature of these formalities might pose some kind of substance to keep you feeling being together, but then again, it is just a kind of mental force only and that can be created when you yourself feel the responsibility of your mate and the feeling that you are not two, but infact one!!
Maybe, mortals aren't so strong to define what could be true love and that is why they need something to bind them together, the 'saat phere', an apparent bond, but holds practical, only till you feel its significance.
I know my ideology might be very unique and unacceptable to many people.... but i would surely love to hear your comments.
Regards,
Gaurav Mittal
I know that my readers will have varied answers here, but my opinion is that those 'saat phere' actually holds very little meaning. Please don't jump to any conclusions before reading ahead....
True marriage or for that matter true love comes from the heart, which no fire can create. I've seen so many couples, who can be assumed to be married because their love was so strong and pure that it didn't need anyone's attestation. On the other hand, people who got married either through love marriages or arranged marriages, got divorced later, because their hearts never were one. Hence, I really find it hard to believe that saat phere is essential. Maybe, to satiate the traditions, to satisfy the laws of the country, you might need to do this formality, but i view it just as a formality.
When your hearts are so pure and strong, and offcourse one! you don't require any authentication from anyone to say that you are married. Marriage is nothing but a union of hearts and souls and that comes when you feel that you're one. Maybe the physical nature of these formalities might pose some kind of substance to keep you feeling being together, but then again, it is just a kind of mental force only and that can be created when you yourself feel the responsibility of your mate and the feeling that you are not two, but infact one!!
Maybe, mortals aren't so strong to define what could be true love and that is why they need something to bind them together, the 'saat phere', an apparent bond, but holds practical, only till you feel its significance.
I know my ideology might be very unique and unacceptable to many people.... but i would surely love to hear your comments.
Regards,
Gaurav Mittal
posted by Gaurav | Sunday, December 17, 2006
14 Comments:
Gaurav you yourself have put it so beautifully that i just dont have much to say on this.YES, I too agree that a marriage just does not need any attestation of any kind.
We should'nt confuse marriage with love...
Love without doubt needs no attestation ,but marriage as a means for furthering genes and procreation should have society affirmation to it...
@Hitesh... WRONG...!!
Who says marriage is different from love? Marriage without love has no meaning.
In any marriage, what's most important is the willingness of the "two" people, rest dun matter, bcoz these two ppl only have to spend their lives together. Even if society, makes a big fuss, eventually its cries die down and they stop.
In a marriage, most imp thing is if the two ppl are committed. If they're not, then saat phere, or no saat phere, is meaningless. Similarily, if the two ppl are fully committed, then the marriage is only a symbolic ritual.. they're already united in their hearts and that's what is only needed.
Hope i've convinced u :)
Some how not agree !!!
If you are saying “Shath Phere” that means definitely you are talking about “Hindu Tradition” !!
First I would like to ask you whether you are planning to marry according to “Hindu tradition” or not.
If you are planning then plan it at “Shanti Kunj Hardware” .
I saw one marriage there; generally they will explain each "Phera" in detail.
I can remember the forth or fifth when Girl came In front of Boy.
They explain it ..
'If the death comes that should come to me first .....(The girl desire)'
Go into the depth of this line as much as you can, hope you will understand.
If you are talking generally then remove the word “Shath Phere”.
Dil Se!!
Satendar Verma
Hi satendar,
u havent understood what i intend to say in the topic. The topic is basically pertaining to the idea of marriage commenly conceived in India.
Is it not relating to any fixed type for a religion, etc.
'Saat Phere' has been adjectively used as a phrase for marriage.
Hi Gaurav,
what i feel is you want to tell ppl that why do we marry for the sake of customs and rituals... ???
If im wirte .. then
Yes I agree with you ... the sacred concept of marriage and saath phere has lost its santity in these days... parents relations and society looks at it as mere a custom to bind a boy and girl.. a custom to get rid of a girl by marrying her .. a custom where the boys parents can demand dowry ..
But the actual concept of marriage where purush and prakriti coms together invokes the spirituality within them and together lead to the lord... has completely lost in this world.
Marriage is to bind a man and women so that they are for eachother and do not run behind lust ...
its true when there is no pure understanding and love between them the very concept of marriage fails be it love or arranged ...
I have one ex live ./. my own friends life which is shattered will post it some time
Bye take care .. this topic will just keep continuing if I dont stop it here
u're absolutely right... these days couples just get married to each other without realising love betn them. I am not stressing on arranged or love marriages, but saath phere is taken as a general norm that yes perform such rites and live together always. People don't even understand the sanctity of such rituals too... hence, the real meaning of marriages is getting lost.
man,
that was awesome.
Have u ever heard of
"Marriage is the price a man pays for sex and sex is the price a woman pays for marriage"??
wat do u ppl out there have to say abt this????
hey gaurav...
im completely convinced abt watever u said abt marriage.... tht holds true no matter wht....
but being a girl i feel.... its a psychological insecurity, no matter how much ever love u get from the person, but still ther's somewhere a fear, what if he walks away some day.
n thts wht exactly happens with most successful relationships too... one fine morning people just walk away saying its over, so may be then the bond of saath fere has its significance... initially it may just force two unloving individuals to stay together, but may eventually even ignite the fire again!!!
people dint like Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, if you have not had the "pleasure" of watching it, I recommend it.. I still dont know why ppl have a prob if someone finds love out of marriage, does marriage define love or otherwise?
If I get married to someone who I don love and thn find love not in my husband but some1 else, wats the ruckus about.. I am atleast lucky enuf to find it, in this life
@Nekita
I haven't seen KANK but I am not that big fan of Hindi movie, either :)
I believe that it is one's perspective on things that matter rather than what others think. As for finding love, I believe that marriage, or life per se, isn't able finding love but about "creating" LOVE.
If you can, try to see a movie - I think I love my wife.
In that it is said, which i believe is very true. You can't choose your birth, your family or whom you will love but you "can" choose 'how you love' !!
Lately i have begun to understand the significance of arranged marriages and why our ancestors used to go for it over love marriages (mind you that the divorce rates were very low as compared to the present)
I think its all about creating love in your marriage and the power of choosing what you CAN rather than can't...
Anyway, thanks for your time for visiting my blog.
Gaurav Mittal
yes gaurav i am totally agree with you
but when u take saat phere in sight of society then society will help when some problem will created in the future.
love is not related to saat phere if we see in foreign country there is no law of any saat phere after they r married and live their life in good manner
I think love has nothing to do with marrige.Its useless to marry some one to show the society that you both will be together for whole life...This marrige thing sounds useless if you are staying together on the name of marrige only and not mentally together.....just to show society and other human beings u are getting married . Even in arrange marrige u dont know the other person just sake of family and society u are ready to spent ur whole life with somone unknown...i think our society should forget all this old traditions and let the youth deside who they want to marry and they want to marry some one or not.....
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